SITE NEWS
6.11.07 - Updated pics, news, results and a NEW MENISCUS!!!
|
A guide to Menisc-ese Being
a monkey, Meniscus has his own way of talking. Sometimes it seems like
he's being a bit grumpy and even downright insulting. I can
assure you that he means it all! Anyway, just so you know what he's on
about - here's a glossary of regular insults used by Meniscus...
'TP' - 'Toss Pot' - Driver of the 305
car!
'Simmo @ Brum' - Somebody not going very
quick!
'Gary-Wrenched' - Taken out by someone out of
control!
1. Measure twice, cut once!!!'Scrot' - Short for scrotum (Latin for scrutineer!!! Honest!) 'Flyin by wire' - Meniscus has taken control of TP's driving... Thank God! 'Being Meniscussed' - When there is no other explanation for other cars falling to bits, throttle sticking etc... MENISCUS'S TOP TIPS: 2. If you don't get caught cheating then your Not cheating, if you do get caught - your being competitive! |
| HOME | |
|
|
| Diary | |
|
|
| Meniscus | |
|
|
| Photos | |
|
|
| Guestbook | |
|
|
| Contact | |
 |
To cheat or not to cheat......is that a question???At Barford on Sunday
I overheard an old man saying that he had heard a quote from a long time ago
from some famous Nascar driver from across the pond, he said 'If you
don't get caught cheating then your Not cheating, if you do get caught - your
being competitive!'
Regarding
Tyres ('Regarding' - who's writing this? go back to sleep TP)
I (The Monkey) think
that if your tyres are found to be under the legal limit at the end of a
race (which is not a set distance - by the time you have had 3 full re-starts at
Barford, when Charlie gets a bad start), in varying temperatures (cold, very cold
or bloody freezing, again at Barford), then you are not really cheating, you are
trying to be competitive.
Applying tyre
softener is not an exact science - TP uses an old paint brush putting a
different number of coats on each wheel, sometimes none, sometimes up to 6
depending on the tyre and the time between meetings - hoping to get all the
tyres down to 41 on the scroats durometer, when he is getting checked after
winning the race (That doesn't happen often!). He has not found a way of putting
a thinner coat on and I'm sure to be ultra-competitive you probably need to be
within a couple of points on the durometer!
By the time he
has finished - I'm normally floating somewhere above the garage - 'Hello, My
name is Meniscus and I'm addicted to Tyre Softener', Oops sorry that's for the
Tuesday night meetings.
If he had won more
races and had more checks - then he would have been found to be under the limit
on some occasions, according to some durometers. TP doesn't think that he is
cheating - lets face it, no one who is cheating could be that
crap!
The place where he
has been checked the most is Cowdy - not because he wins there a lot (Only once
so far and I was pulling the strings - see HERE), but because the
Scroat, checks all the cars as they are lined up to come off track, waiting for
the next race to come through the pit gate.
Recently
the Cowdy Scroat has being criticised for the way he has been using his
durometer (Oo-err). If every car or the first 10 cars, at the end of
the race were checked and 9 cars all had tyres above 40 and 1 had tyres
below, then I would doubt that the durometer or the operator was faulty
(it might not be accurate, but it should be consistently inaccurate -
after all, every driver is trying to get their tyres to just above 40
at the end of the race). If a high percentage of cars were below the
limit then I would say that something was possibly wrong.
To me it makes very
little difference if you make cars wait on the track while the next race lines
up - I'm sure that some promoters would say 'its too difficult to do it that
way', but you have to wait either before you go on or when you come off, so
what's the problem?
I also think that
any readings that are found to be under the limit should be re-tested after a
certain length of time, say 5 minutes, (possibly with a second durometer). Then
after 5 minutes (enough time for you to go round all the cars waiting at the
gate) if a driver has gone mad with the softener, he is still going to be under
the limit, but if he is just being competitive and the track or race conditions
have caused the dodgy readings then he might get away with
it.
I'm also sure that
the durometer is not the most accurate way of testing tyres, but if we have a
rule on softness then its probably the quickest and easiest way to do it, as
long as we are consistent in the checks across the Brisca Empire, then all the
drivers should accept any punishment dished out, like the 'down right low down
cheats' that they are! - calm down, calm down.
Hopefully with the
new tyres next year, things might be a bit simpler - then I'm going back to
glue, has anybody got any 'Evil-stink'?
Regarding Roof
Colours ('Regarding' - Shut Up Tosser!)
I have read the
rulebook and it does not say that a blue top Monkey can not wear flashing
'superstar deelee-boppers' on his head, even if every white top and yellow top
just got out of his way as he went on to win at Skeg on Thursday night.
 After all some Monkeys are Superstars, even if the driver is only a blue top! See you next year -
M
PS - In the final at
Skeg, after overtaking Mr Sworder and Mr Kitson TP blew his engine up and is now
looking for sponsors, if anybody has a spare couple of grand (or a spare
Redline), you can contact him using the 'Contact' button - Cheers me old
Mucka!
|
|
| Never
Enough Stox The Aycliffe Project |
© 2006 - 2007 Chris Rigg / Colin Gregg |
|